How Do I Protect Myself? What Are the Right Steps to Take?
Being served with divorce papers can be a shocking and overwhelming experience. Whether you saw it coming or it caught you completely off guard, the reality of facing a divorce can leave you feeling lost, confused, and unsure of what to do next.
You can respond in a variety of ways, from confronting your spouse to simply hoping it will go away. But what’s the best course of action when you’re served with divorce papers? How can you best protect your interests and your future, your property, and your relationship with your children?
Let’s walk through the essential steps to take after being served with divorce papers to help ensure your rights and interests are protected as you navigate the legal process ahead.
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Take a Deep Breath and Stay Calm
The first and most crucial step is to take a moment to breathe and try to remain calm. It’s natural to feel a rush of emotions—anger, sadness, fear, or even relief—but it’s important not to let these emotions drive your actions. Remember, the decisions you make in the coming days and weeks can have long-lasting impacts on your future, so it’s essential to approach the situation with a clear head.
Read the Papers Carefully
Once you’ve composed yourself, sit down and carefully read through all the documents you’ve been served. These papers typically include:
- The Petition for Divorce: This document outlines the grounds for divorce and may include initial proposals for property division, child custody, and support.
- Temporary Orders: These may be included to establish temporary arrangements for issues like child custody, support, and use of marital property during the divorce process.
- Restraining Orders: In some cases, there may be orders prohibiting certain actions, such as selling assets or removing children from the state.
Take notes on anything you don’t understand or find concerning. This will help you when you consult an attorney.
Do Not Ignore the Papers
A petition for divorce is a legal document that must be responded to within a certain period of time. If you fail to answer the complaint by the due date (usually 30 days), your spouse can ask the court for a default judgment. If a default judgment is entered, it may be extremely difficult to overturn. If you want any say in the terms of the divorce, do not just put the complaint in a drawer and hope your spouse will have a change of heart.
Consult with an Experienced Divorce Attorney
Divorce is rarely simple, whether because of custody and visitation issues or concern about dividing up debts and assets. If you’re served with divorce papers, it’s highly likely that your spouse is already represented by legal counsel. You’ll be at a distinct disadvantage if you try to handle the divorce by yourself.
A skilled divorce lawyer can:
- Explain the legal process and your rights
- Help you understand the implications of the documents you’ve been served
- Advise you on the best course of action to protect your interests
- Assist in preparing your response to the divorce petition
- Represent you in negotiations and court proceedings
Gather Important Documents
Start collecting and organizing important documents related to your marriage, finances, and children. These may include:
- Financial records (bank statements, tax returns, pay stubs, etc.)
- Property documents (deeds, mortgage statements, car titles)
- Insurance policies
- Retirement account statements
- Children’s records (school, medical, etc.)
- Any prenuptial or postnuptial agreements
Having these documents readily available will help your attorney assess your situation and prepare your case more effectively.
Get a Clear Picture of Your Finances
Your financial situation will impact almost every aspect of the divorce, including the calculation of child support, the need for spousal support, and the division of marital debts and assets. The better you prepare to deal with financial issues, the more favorable results you’ll usually get.
Gather written documentation of all things financial in a single place, including the following:
- An inventory of all debts and assets, with documentation of whether each property/obligation was obtained or incurred before or during the marriage—include real estate, bank accounts, investment portfolios, business interests, retirement plans, and insurance policies
- Evidence of income for you and your spouse during the marriage
- Evidence of any other resources available to you or your spouse, such as inheritances or personal injury awards
While gathering financial information, look for ways to reduce your expenses. Divorce can be expensive, and you may have fewer resources to meet greater needs. Reducing your financial outlay can be an important way to minimize the stress that comes with a divorce proceeding.
Protect Your Privacy and Finances
You’ll also want to take steps to safeguard your personal information and financial accounts:
- Change passwords for email, social media, and online banking accounts.
- Open a new bank account in your name only.
- Obtain a copy of your credit report and monitor for any suspicious activity.
- Consider freezing joint credit cards to prevent additional debt accumulation.
Be cautious about your actions during this time. Avoid making large purchases, transferring assets, or taking on new debt without consulting your attorney first.
In the time immediately following the filing of a divorce complaint, emotions can be raw on both sides. You may not want the divorce and may think you need to show your spouse that you’re willing to change or that you want the marriage to work.
Unfortunately, putting yourself in close proximity to your spouse simply increases the likelihood that you’ll say or do something you’ll regret, often fueled by your hurt, anger, or disappointment. It’s best to let things cool down a bit and communicate through your attorney.
However, if you’re still living with your spouse, it’s important to establish clear boundaries:
- Limit discussions about the divorce to necessary topics (e.g., childcare arrangements).
- Avoid confrontations or heated arguments, especially in front of children.
- If necessary, consider temporary living arrangements to reduce tension.
Remember, anything you say or do during this time could potentially be used in court proceedings. Always consult your attorney before making any significant decisions or agreements with your spouse.
Take Care of Your Emotional Well-being
Divorce is not just a legal process; it’s an emotional journey as well. It’s crucial to take care of your mental health during this time:
- Seek support from trusted friends and family members.
- Consider joining a divorce support group.
- Look into counseling or therapy options.
- Maintain healthy habits (exercise, proper nutrition, adequate sleep).
- Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Taking care of yourself will help you stay focused and make better decisions throughout the divorce process.
Keep a Low Profile
There can be an inclination, with such a life-changing event, to make it the focus of your life and share it with friends and on social media. It’s better to simply take a breath, keep to yourself for a few days or even weeks, and come to grips with it. If you make it too public too soon, you might say things you won’t be able to take back, things you’ll regret in the long run. It’s a deeply personal matter—keep it that way, at least for a while.
If You Have Children, Prioritize Their Well-being
If you have children, their well-being should be your top priority:
- Avoid speaking negatively about your spouse in front of the children.
- Maintain their routines as much as possible.
- Reassure them that both parents still love them.
- Consider family counseling to help children cope with the changes.
- Cooperate with your spouse on parenting matters when possible.
Remember, Texas courts prioritize the best interests of the child when making custody and visitation decisions. Demonstrating that you’re a caring, responsible parent can positively impact these outcomes.
Understand the Divorce Process in Texas
Familiarize yourself with the basic steps of the divorce process in Texas:
- Filing of the Original Petition for Divorce
- Service of Process (which you’ve already received)
- Temporary Orders Hearing (if necessary)
- Discovery Phase (gathering and exchanging information)
- Negotiation and Mediation
- Trial (if settlement cannot be reached)
- Final Decree of Divorce
Your attorney will guide you through each stage, explaining what to expect and how to prepare.
While some divorces inevitably end up in court, many can be resolved through an alternative dispute resolution method like mediation. Such an approach can:
- Reduce conflict and stress
- Save time and money
- Allow for more creative solutions
- Provide greater privacy than court proceedings
Your lawyer can help you determine if such an option might be suitable for your situation.
Be Prepared for Property Division
Texas is a community property state, which means that most property acquired during the marriage is considered to be owned equally by both spouses. However, “equitable” division doesn’t always mean a 50/50 split. Factors that can influence property division include:
- Each spouse’s earning capacity
- Fault in the breakup of the marriage
- Custody arrangements for children
- Length of the marriage
Work with your attorney to create a comprehensive inventory of your assets and debts, and develop a strategy for property division negotiations.
Understand Child Custody and Support Issues
If you have children, custody and support will be significant aspects of your divorce:
- Texas uses the term “conservatorship” instead of custody.
- Joint managing conservatorship is presumed to be in the best interest of the child, but this doesn’t necessarily mean equal time with each parent.
- Child support is typically calculated based on a percentage of the non-custodial parent’s net income.
- Factors like the child’s needs, each parent’s ability to support the child, and parenting time can influence support orders.
Your attorney can help you understand how these issues apply to your specific situation and work toward arrangements that serve your children’s best interests.
Consider the Possibility of Spousal Maintenance
In Texas, spousal maintenance (alimony) is not automatic and is typically reserved for specific situations, such as:
- Marriages lasting 10 years or more where one spouse lacks sufficient property or income for self-support
- Cases involving domestic violence
- Situations where one spouse has a disability or is caring for a child with a disability
If you believe you may be entitled to spousal maintenance or are concerned about a potential maintenance claim from your spouse, discuss this with your attorney.
Be Patient and Stay Focused on the Long-term
Divorce is rarely a quick process. In Texas, there’s a mandatory 60-day waiting period from the time of filing before a divorce can be finalized, and complex cases can take much longer. During this time:
- Stay focused on your long-term goals.
- Avoid making rash decisions based on temporary emotions.
- Be prepared for setbacks and delays.
- Trust in the legal process and your attorney’s guidance.
Remember, the decisions made during your divorce will impact your life for years to come. It’s worth taking the time to get things right.
Being served with divorce papers is undoubtedly a challenging experience, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. With the right approach and proper legal guidance, you can navigate this process and move towards a brighter future.
At Bailey & Galyen, we’ve been helping individuals throughout Texas face the challenges of divorce for over 40 years. Our experienced team of divorce attorneys is here to provide the support, guidance, and skilled representation you need during this difficult time.
If you’ve been served with divorce papers and are unsure of what to do next, don’t hesitate to reach out. Contact the Texas family lawyers at Bailey & Galyen today at 844-685-0241 or through our online form for a free initial consultation. Let us help you protect your rights, safeguard your interests, and guide you toward the best possible outcome for your future.
Remember, taking prompt and informed action now can make a significant difference in the outcome of your divorce. You have the right to protect yourself and your future—let us help you do just that.
